Cover the Skin You're In! Modesty in Our Culture


The Church teaches us that modesty is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit...one of the “perfections that the Holy Spirit forms in us as the first fruits of eternal glory.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 1832)

We also learn that “Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love. It encourages patience and moderation in loving relationships; it requires that the conditions for the definitive giving and commitment of man and woman to one another be fulfilled...It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet." (CCC 2522, emphasis mine) Modesty is directly tied to purity, which “requires modesty” and is “an integral part of temperance”...“refusing to unveil what should remain hidden.” (CCC 2521)

Not to offend any of the ladies...BUT...why is it that MANY women I know or meet feel the need to show off their cleavage, thighs, shape-li-ness, etc...? OR maybe it's not so much they feel like the “need” to...but for some reason they just dress this way. It seems like we live in a "flaunt it if you've got it" culture. And sometimes it feels more like “flaunt it regardless of whether you've got it or not...or even if you've got too much”!

I have even spoken with female friends and family who have noticed this and who are just as uncomfortable with it (from a woman's perspective) as I am (looking at it from a married man's perspective). Our society seems to have lost the sense of secrecy and the desire to avoid temptation. In fact, it seems like the goal is TO TEMPT, to be noticed, to be seen. But I think we have allowed ourselves to get off track here. It's not so much that wanting to look good or be noticed is a bad thing...but when that is achieved by allowing ourselves to be objectified, then it can be. And it can be especially troublesome when we allow aspects of ourselves, those that should be reserved for our spouse (whether present or future), to be flaunted for all the world to see.

I believe that some women don't realize the power they have in determining how men view them. Other women probably do realize this, and some of those use this knowledge to purposefully draw attention to themselves...but it's those who might NOT be aware that I'd like to focus on.

Women, how you present yourself will directly affect how a man views and treats you. It's just as simple as that.

If you present yourself as a sex object, a man will treat you like one. If you present yourself as a daughter of God and a spouse (present or future) then men will treat you accordingly. If you dress in a way that draws attention to your countenance...your face, your smile, your eyes...then men will look at your face, your smile, and your eyes, and the thoughts they have about you will be focused on what they are seeing. If you dress to draw attention to your legs or your chest or your curves...take a wild guess at where men are going to look and what they will be thinking about. Regardless of whose fault it is or which person (the lady dressing a certain way, or the man acting like a pig) is responsible for the thoughts that come about, the fact is that a woman who draws attention to her sex appeal will become a sex object in the eyes of a man (in general). That's human nature, and it isn't about to change. You (the women reading this) might not be responsible for how a man treats or views you, but you DO have power over it and can greatly affect, by your dress, how a man will respond to you.

How many times have you heard a woman say, or how many reading this have said it themselves: “What a pig! Do you know what that guy said/did/etc... to me?” “Stop staring at my chest and look at me eyes!!”

Well, ladies...I hate to put the burden on you, but YOU have control over this...to some degree anyway. YOU can “force” a man to look at your eyes. YOU can have at least SOME control over whether a man squawks out cat-calls or degrading comments, or stares at your eyes instead of your chest, or does a turn-around as you pass by to take a better look at your back-side. If you want to be treated with respect and as a lady, and as a PERSON instead of an object...YOU can affect change here. That's not to let men off the hook...they are responsible for their actions to be sure...but how many men do you know that are going to read this and say to themselves, “Self, you should treat women better and not objectify them.”? Sadly, I only know a handful of guys that think that way, and they do not represent the general male population.

Ladies, if you want to be treated with respect, and not be objectified by men in our modern day culture...you DO have some control over that...you CAN effect change...you CAN force [some] men to see you as a person and not an object. Part of that control might just be as easy as this: cover the skin you're in.

Comments

  1. David MantheiJuly 12, 2013 at 12:47 PM

    Please excuse the yellow highlighting...we're having technical difficulties...it will be removed shortly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. David MantheiJuly 12, 2013 at 12:57 PM

      Fixed! And now I know the difference between "HTML" and "Compose" modes. :)

      Delete
  2. AnonymousJuly 13, 2013 at 1:41 AM

    Ammmmen, David! Spot on! The feminists (of course the movement at its roots is Marxist, therefore totally against God's design, so we shouldn't be surprised) have done women a disservice, belittling modesty in attire.

    Even before I became a Christian, I felt uncomfortable exposing myself (got cat calls at a pool once when I was 14, wearing an "old fashioned" bikini---never wore that sort of thing again). Something told me that it was degrading to parade around revealing too much skin (this was a relatively "benign" bikini, compared to the strips of fabric they wear today).

    Keep telling it like it is. It's refreshing! :)

    Best from a CAF lurker

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. David MantheiJuly 15, 2013 at 2:51 PM

      Thanks for the perspective, especially from the woman's point of view. :)

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why is there Temporal Punishment for Sin; Didn't Jesus Pay Our Debt?

Image
I was discussing Penance, purgatory, and indulgences (among many other topics) with a friend, and the topic of temporal punishment came up. Temporal punishment happens to be closely linked to indulgences, which happen to be linked to the effects of Sacramental Penance, so it was only natural that it be next in line for discussion. In case you aren't familiar with what I'm talking about: " An indulgence is a remission before God of the temporal punishment due to sins whose guilt has already been forgiven ..." ( CCC 1471 , emphasis mine). Anyone not familiar with that might respond with, " Whoa! Hold up there on the 'temporal punishment'! What's that all about? " I'll explain what it's all about, but you can also get a good idea by reading the very short Catechism paragraphs 1471-1473, especially in light of the three paragraphs immediately preceding those, and 1478-79. ( HERE's that link.) Anyway, my friend actually read ...
Read more

God's Effect on My Life: A Personal Testimony

Image
I always considered myself a good Catholic Christian, but I didn’t live it. Although I have been described as a “good guy”, “nice”, “kind and quiet”, I gave myself over to sin in one form or another, especially in pride. My friends from school tell me that they thought of me as a good Christian, so I must have masked my sinfulness pretty well, or it just got covered up in my shyness and insecurity, or I just blended in with the rest of a culture that doesn’t really see many sins as being sinful. I look back and see an arrogant narcissist, pre-occupied with my own wants at anyone’s expense, yet too insecure to let it make me into a snob, and only able to really hurt those who were closest to me, or who trusted me with their emotions. I can honestly say I did not hurt all the people in my life, but there those that I did, and making amends has been a process that has spanned years, and will probably never end. My friends in school were few, but the friendships were strong, and the...
Read more

Coronavirus and an Opportunity for Greatness

Image
Before this pandemic hit our nation, I considered myself a good Christian. I give to the Church; I help others when I can; I give an honest day's work to provide for my family; I raise my children in the faith handed down to us by our Lord. But this pandemic has opened my eyes in the past couple weeks. My wife and I quickly realized that the burden that would hit us, as our state went on "lock-down", would impact other people as well...and probably hit them harder. After all, I have a job that allows me to work from home, so I won't lose a paycheck (yet). And despite the initial mob that emptied our local grocery store, we have a place nearby to buy the essentials and we are both capable of going shopping. ("Both capable of going shopping" is something I didn't realize I was taking for granted until recently.) And while it meant having six children at home, like wild rabbits being chased by a cage, we are more adjusted to that than most becaus...
Read more

Right to Life Being Preached by a Sinner?

Image
My brother shared a video of the first sitting President to attend a March for Life event giving a speech at said event.  The speech was wonderfully supportive of babies' right to life and I think it's historic and precedent-setting that a President has made this pro-life move, regardless of his motives.  Yet, there was one gentleman who kept trying to dismiss the pro-life message and draw focus away from it by trying to refocus on the person of the President.  It led to some interesting dialog but gave me an opportunity to dive back into a question to which I have yet, after years of asking, to receive an actual answer or any focused discussion.  You can decide whether this ended differently. Ray's words will appear in plain text, mine in blue. Ray: It's called pandering and it doesn't mean he is a good and moral man. Trump once declared in a 1999 interview that “I am pro-choice in every respect.” ( Nevermind that people can change. As another person in t...
Read more

More than Ever, The World Needs the Luminous Mysteries

Image
Using pebbles or beads as tangible prayer minders was nothing new by the 9th century, when Monks had begun making a daily or weekly recitation of all 150 Psalms.  It made perfect sense, then, when the lay faithful, who wanted a way to participate in this pious practice, yet had difficulty learning the Psalms due to various reasons (e.g., widespread illiteracy), instead recited 150 prayers daily or weekly and kept track of them by means of pebbles or beads.  Eventually this practice evolved into beads being strung together on a cord.  The daily prayers would typically be the "Pater Noster" (the Lord's Prayer, found in Lk 11:2-4 or Mt 6:9-13) or the "Ave [Gratia Plena]" (the "Hail, Full of Grace" found in Lk 1:28, 41-42).  Gradually, the second half of what we know today as the "Hail Mary" was added, reflecting Lk 1:43 and passages regarding praying for one another (e.g., James 5:16).  This recitation of prayers on beads would eventually evolve...
Read more

Just Do it the Way He Says

Too many times, man receives a nudge from the Spirit to do something, only to decide to "do it my own way" and completely mess it up for himself, and usually for everyone else around him.  What would happen if we would just do what God says, and follow exactly the way He says to do it? I felt a nudge from the Lord to tell my wife something...something I KNEW would become an argument, because it did the last 3 times I brought up the topic. It's a topic regarding a particular family devotion that has been a point of contention which, in the past, had left us both with hurt feelings.  The nudge was to reintroduce the topic, and to state it in a very specific way:  " I want us to start doing [this particular devotion]". I prayed about it and reminded the Lord ( because hey, who doesn't think that the Lord needs us to remind Him of things?? ) that this was a very contentious topic, and I was not up for having the argument, because it's not something obliga...
Read more

A Hospital for Sinners

Image
- " If I touch the holy water font, it'll melt. " - " I better not go to confession because, if I enter the church, it may burn down! "   - " I'm just too 'dirty' to go before God right now...I need to clean up first. "   Whether they are an excuse to not go to church, or a genuine notion that someone actually has to 'get right with God' BEFORE they receive the Sacraments, these comments (paraphrased, but you are likely familiar with many variations of them) are wrong minded, backwards, and completely miss the purpose of the Sacraments.   You may have read in any number places, in any number of ways, that " the church is not a museum for saints; rather it is a hospital for sinners ".  And this is the truth of the matter.   We need not be "clean" in order to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation (i.e., going to confession).  Reconciliation is given to us by Christ for exactly that purpose...to reconcile us to Hi...
Read more